A Time for Love

“O daughters of Jerusalem, I adjure you: Do not arouse or awaken love until the time is right.” Song of Solomon 8:4

The scripture above causes us to ponder two things...Is there ever a time not to love? and What kind of love should I hold off on until the right time? In this verse, the author earnestly cautions us to not stir up our emotions and awaken love until the right time. One can infer this kind of love is a romantic love, a love that involves passion and feelings.

In one’s teenage years, the idea of romantic love is very exciting and warming to the heart, but with experience one can see that romantic love often hurts and is confusing. Perhaps, it is not romantic love itself that is hard and misleading, but maybe it is our hearts that is not ready for this kind of love.

From the moment we enter the world there is an attachment that is formed between a baby and her mother. The way the mother attaches to the child and how she responds to her baby is educating that baby on what love is. To some that experience has been a nurturing one and for others not so pleasant. Depending on a person’s background, their experiences will determine their view of what love is and how it is given out.

Though our view of love is shaped by our experiences, the word gives us a clear picture of what love should be, although we may not have experienced it. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no account of wrongs. Love takes no pleasure in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…”

If we are not willing to walk in this kind of love we are not ready for romantic love.

The hardened or wounded heart cannot properly receive or give the love it so desires. That heart has to be nursed back to love by the lover of our soul Jesus. Jesus demonstrated the highest love by dying on the cross. His passions and feelings of love for us turned into a bloody, painful situation. This gives us the idea that love is not so pretty sometimes, it is longsuffering and requires one to die to himself. Yes there is affection and attraction, but are we willing to stick it out and rekindle the flame if it goes out? At that point we find out if we are loving or lusting!

Lust involves an intense craving and desire. The problem with lust is it doesn’t know when to stop. It wants what it wants and when it wants it. It doesn’t think long term, it doesn’t think about the other person, it gets angry if not fulfilled, it keeps count when you don’t fulfill its desires and it throws you away if you don’t move fast enough or just takes what it wants without your consent. Can you see the difference?

There will come trials and hardships that will test the strength of our love walk with God and others in our lives, but we have to be ahead of the fight and determine in ourselves that we are going to walk in love and not lust.

Love has freedom and has to be cultivated. It grows. It doesn’t happen overnight. There will come a time in your life when you are ready for this, but don’t rush it. Get a better understanding of your view of love and let God prepare you for His kind of love. He wants your experience to be a joyful one, but with a proper understanding. You can’t go wrong when you put your love life in God’s hands. Let God be your matchmaker and get out of His way. He understands you and won’t allow anyone to hurt your heart. Therefore he has to teach you not to do the same.

There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. The one who fears has not been perfected in love. We love because He first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” but hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And we have this commandment from Him: Whoever loves God must love his brother as well.

1 John 4:18-21